Picking up the pieces
by TheGoodWrite
Summary: When Kurt kisses her after his speech, Diane struggles with feelings of lust, love and doubt. A filler for that night in 1x05.


"Great, I mean you didn't rush… You made all your points comprehensible, I mea-"

And then he'd kissed her. Somehow it didn't come as a complete surprise to her; the determined look in his eyes had been enough of a sign. However, the second his hands touched her arms, softly grabbing her before his lips pressed against hers, she got that overwhelming feeling. It was a cliché and she hated to admit it but she felt that old familiar feeling in the pit of her stomach. Some would say it were butterflies, others might just call it some form of arousal or lust. Whatever it was, it made every single sliver of doubt vanish from her mind.

Immediately, she responded, as if she had never stopped doing this, kissing him back just as eagerly. She kept telling herself that this wasn't supposed to happen, that this wouldn't solve things between them, but her body seemed to have a mind of its own. A sigh escaped her lips when instead of pulling back, she went in for more, deepening their kiss. The realisation that she had missed this more than she had dared to admit to herself crossed her mind. Kissing him now felt as good as it had even on their first date all those years ago, it had always felt just right. Eventually he ended the kiss slowly, placing another small peck on her lips. Diane kept her eyes closed for a second, fearing the captivating sight she'd no doubt meet when she opened them. Her brain was right, for when she looked at him again, he looked absolutely irresistible. His smug smile and the twinkle in his eyes made her knees go a little weak and she couldn't help but laugh.

She studied his face meticulously, as she had done numerous times before. Her eyes went from his lips to his hair and back again, simply admiring how damn good the man looked. With a smirk she leaned in again, licking her lips in anticipation. This time she was the one initiating the kiss, which was much more passionate than the previous one. Almost automatically her arms wrapped around his neck and she couldn't hold back a soft moan. Her fingers found their way into his hair easily while his hands grabbed her hips to pull her even closer. She smiled into their kiss, because all she felt was happiness and love wash over her, mixed with a sense of absurdity… _God this was a bad idea_. She moved her lips over his jaw to his ear and she couldn't resist leaving a bruising kiss on his neck, letting her tongue soothe the red mark she left behind.

"Come back to my place."

She blurted out, her voice low and hoarse. The words had fallen from her lips almost subconsciously and Diane froze when she realised what she had said. _As if kissing him wasn't bad enough already, this would only make things more complicated._ Her mind was racing but it didn't stop her from looking up at him with a mix of hope and lust in her eyes. He looked confused, clearly taken by surprise by her bold offer. She searched his face for a sign that could assure her that this was the right thing to do. Surely he had hoped that they would end up sharing more than just that one kiss, she thought. His stoic look was disrupted by a small smile.

"You sure?"

He spoke softly, carefully. In all honesty, she wasn't sure, he probably knew that. Her rational mind was screaming at her in protest, once again, but she didn't want listen. She wanted him, even just for one night. They could go back to their complicated and painful relationship afterwards. For now, she simply needed him again. So she told herself they would deal with the consequences later, after they had satisfied this craving that had clearly taken over both of their minds.

It took her a moment to nod and reassure him. His hands were still holding her hips, more loosely now. Diane moved her hands down to meet his, entwining their fingers while she leaned in to place a soft kiss on his lips.

He held onto her hand as he led her out of the auditorium to his car. The familiarity of it all scared her but it felt so comfortable at the same time. As she sat down in the passenger seat of his truck, it felt exactly like it used to. The faint scent of gunpowder and Kurt was still the same, his fingers still tapped the steering wheel while he drove and he still couldn't keep his eyes on the road, getting distracted by her presence next to him. Diane tried her best not to give in to the urge to run her hand up his thigh, instead keeping her hands folded in her lap. She bit her lip in anticipation as thoughts of where they'd end up popped up in her head. Of course they would end up in bed together, it was inevitable.

Now she fumbles for her keys with trembling hands, the anticipation and nerves getting the better of 's nothing new, she tells herself, they have been here so many times before. The deliciously toxic foundation of their relationship consisted of this, of impatiently making their way inside only to tear into one another as soon as the door closed behind them. Countless nights ended with hasty, lustful sex, in her hallway or her living room, when they simply couldn't wait to get up to her bedroom. This time, however, she's nervous. It feels like a first time in some way and it takes her a second to clear her mind before she pushes the door open.

He doesn't give her time to think as soon as they get inside. His hands push against her hips until her back hits the wall. He's rough, demanding, possessive, but she revels in it. For now, that's exactly what she needs to chase her worries from her mind. She loses herself in the way he kisses her and how good his body feels against hers again. However, she can feel his kisses change from passionate and hard to something more loving. He slows down eventually, pulling back and resting his forehead against hers, this small, tender gesture forming such a contrast with his lustful behaviour seconds ago.

She senses his hesitance; he feels nervous about this too. Her hand comes up to caress his cheek and for a second everything is so soft and gentle. There's a hint of doubt and insecurity in his expression and when her thumb brushes over his skin, all she sees is the most humble look in his eyes, as if he suddenly feels the need to ask her if this is okay but he doesn't quite know how to. He's still the same stoically silent man she fell in love with, the one she understood without any words and so she decides to answer his unvoiced question as she always does.

"I want this, Kurt."

She whispers almost inaudibly but the intricate smile forming on his lips tells her he heard her. It astonishes her still how vulnerable he is with her, even if he can't verbalise it. He shows her in his own way. With a smile of her own she presses her lips against his again, reassuring but also encouraging him.

"I want you…"

The words come out raspier than her previous ones as she mumbles them between kisses. Whether he wants to respond or not she doesn't know nor does she care. She wants him, badly, and the increasing pace of her kisses is the most obvious sign of that. He seems to pick up on what she wants soon enough, when he tightens his grip on her hips again and starts sucking her lower lip between kisses. Soon his lips travel along a well known path down her neck, his teeth grazing her skin. She doesn't try to hold back her moans, instead giving in to the pleasure he is already causing her. Her vocal responses had always served as a turn on for him and she expects no difference this time. While his kisses on her neck intensify, his hands slide down from her hips to her ass, grabbing and squeezing possessively.

She can feel his lips move down to her collarbone and suddenly she's aware of how clothed they still are and how badly she wishes they weren't. As if he can read her mind his fingers slide down her thighs to the hem of her dress, slowly pulling the garment up to her hips. The needy groan that escapes his lips when he looks her up and down, is like music to her ears. It feels empowering and almost triumphant to still have that effect on him. A wicked grin graces her lips as his one hand moves up her thigh again, while the other finds its way to her breast, teasing her through layers of clothing. His fingers ghost over her panties and all she can do is grab his face in both hands and pull him in for a searing kiss.

In the back of her mind, a dilemma pops up. As much as she would like to, they can't stay in her hallway all night. They have to pull back long enough for them to make their way into her bedroom. That would mean stopping him though and God, she doesn't want him to stop right now. Another moan escapes her lips when his fingers press against her a little more insistently. Maybe they should just do it here, get it over with. However, she can't deny that she doesn't mind the idea of him staying a little longer. In fact, having him in her bed again seems so tempting…

"Not here," she murmurs, once she's made up her mind. No, this won't be a quick fix that ends in an awkward goodbye. She wants more, needs more than that. He can still leave afterwards, she tells herself. He stops kissing her lips but moves on to her neck once again, responding to her in a soft mumble against her skin. His reply takes her by surprise and sends a shiver down her spine.

"Why not? Wouldn't be the first time…" He emphasises his words by pushing his hips against hers, making clear that they could get this over with right here and now. The corners of her lips turn upwards in a smirk and she runs a hand through his hair. With a sigh she pushes herself off the wall, determined to take this elsewhere, however tempting his suggestion may sound. She takes his hand in hers, slowly tugging him with her as she turns to the stairs.

"Come on." She smiles back at him before leading the way up to her bedroom.

Note: This story will have three chapters, however I will post these on ao3, along with any future works.


End file.
